While chasing pleasure, I could not experience my pleasures. All the pleasures that I could not experience turned into a huge obstacle in front of what I would experience. As soon as I gave up all my pleasures, I started photosynthesis. It didn't rain, nor did the sun shine. I faded, I rotted over time. I still did not die. I realized that I could not die without dying, and I sprouted again from my fears.